DAHLIA'S DIARY UNLOCKED

DEAR DIARY, MY PLANS HAVE BEEN BUSY MAKING NEW PLANS FOR ME

Dear, Diary …

This is supposed to be a “Newsletter.” So many content creators have them. I even called it a “Newsletter” on my website. It was part of the plan: Create a podcast - and like many podcasters these days - follow suit and add on a newsletter as well. Oh, and throw in some videos for good you-could-never-be-too-busy-in-this-world measure.

We won’t even talk about the fiascos of that last video here. I did enough of that in this week’s podcast.

But I’m not offering news - we have too much of that. And I don’t just want to transcribe a podcast as I did for the first couple of episodes - just because that’s what other people do. And, well, because transcription? Not news either! So, this <airquotes> newsletter is now a letter to my diary. A DiaryLetter, as it were, that will follow this mission to LIVE AND HELP LIVE from behind-the-mic.

So that newsletter … Yet another plan that hasn’t worked out - the way I intended. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not working …

Parenting a Fozzie Bear was never part of the plan either. And here we are.

The plan was to start a podcast in September. But to launch a new project, without a real understanding of its landscape, seems silly. Especially when you can test the landscape any time you want.

So I decided to soft-launch this podcast in June and through the summer - the slowest time of the year in media - to get a better understanding of the best way possible to do it. This way, by September, we’ll be better prepared.

Who tests a business and opens it to the public before it’s even ready to open?

Maybe the type of person who starts a business at the foothills of a recession, during the worst economic downturn in modern history. And then proceeds to give their product to the public for free. The public, who in a way, happens to also be their boss. Or many bosses, really. An odd relationship to be sure.

Do you really think humans were meant to have the input and judgement of so many other humans from near and far, friends and strangers, from all walks of life? To receive this much input and judgement coming at one person - our brains have never evolved to something like this. But social media has evolved - or perhaps devolved - far faster than humankind.

Essentially, here I am creating something for who knows how many people to judge.

Think about it. Imagine creating something for even six people - like a dinner party - and see how difficult it is to please everyone. As a talk show host, I’ve been doing that for about a decade - except for thousands and thousands and thousands of people.

So my friend Julie understands the psychology of this quite well, considering that she’s a psychologist. And not just that friend who took one psych class in university only to Dr. Phil that education at everyone for life.

The night before we went out for supper - my first night out in too long to remember. Between my talk show and the podcast, it’s as if I have several full-time jobs. Job titles are not jobs. If I said the actual work I do, you could likely give me many more job titles. (Right now, “complainer” might be one you’re thinking of.) But based on many conversations, it seems people think I just talk into a microphone a few hours a week and live the life the rest.

(I wonder if those people also think two-hour movies take just two hours to make.)

To be fair, I do talk a lot. In fact, I’ve often thought I’m not paid to speak on my radio show; rather, I’m paid to shut up for the rest of the day.

So, at supper on Friday, I told Julie how things are moving along, so I planned to get a new piece of equipment for the podcast the next day.

It’s now Saturday afternoon. Absolutely a gorgeous sun-drenched day.

“How’s the tech upgrade going?” Julies texts.

“Well, FOUR hours into setting up this SIMPLE piece of equipment, I’m all podcasted out,” I reply.

Yeah. Four hours. Inside. On a perfect sunny day. I wanted to punch the new audio interface in its interface and throw it at my computer and break it into a million pieces. Then break each of those pieces into even tinier ones.

That probably would have taken less time than setting up this “simple” piece of technology. Just another thing that didn’t go as planned.

(And the number of things that didn’t go according to plan in this 60-second video above? You should see the bloopers. Well, you can! Below.)

Even recording a 25-minute podcast took so much longer than intended. You don’t realize how noisy this world is until you press record. Sirens, horns, drills, hammers, delicate birdies, air conditioning, Fozzie Bear pitter-pattering his 25-pound adorable self across the room … (I swear his claws alone must weigh 25 pounds.)

So, for Episode 3, I devised a plan: I left the big city for a quiet, far-removed mountainside town. A charming and peaceful little nook.

Until the neighbour down the way decided to demo his massive concrete driveway, when I was set to record. I think he used some sort of monster drill to get as close to the core of the Earth as possible. Or maybe some interplanetary war broke out in front of his house. I’m still not sure.

Yeah. That plan didn’t work out so well either.

So just a little re-cap on a few of the many plans that haven’t worked out in the past while:

• The Newsletter

• Recording Episode 3

• Recording Episode 4

• Shooting the video

• The fabulous top-notch new equipment

• Time! I’ve never had enough of it.

• I’d tell you all about the woes just getting Episodes 1 and 2 up, but I appreciate the value of time far too much to get into all of that.

And here are the many things that have unexpectedly worked better because those plans didn’t work out:

• I figured out the type of content I need instead of a Newsletter: A diary that gives people a look behind-the-scenes.

• I learned a valuable lesson from that video - that really helped make Episode 4 better than it would have been otherwise.

• I’ve gained so much tech knowledge - and I’m not a tech person!

I also discovered that the concrete is not always quieter on the other side. As long as there is concrete there is noise.

While these three things that don’t outnumber the many plans listed (and not listed) that went wrong, they still outshine all those plans that went awry.

And nothing would have gone as well, had I not made those plans that didn’t turn out, but somehow turned out right, nonetheless.

P.S. Here’s an entire video of nothing going according to plan. BLOOPERS!